Sunday, December 28, 2008

Forkboy (Lard) - Black Light Burns


Yeah, so I stole this from another blog, picklesandmilk.blogspot.com, but I liked it. And that's all you really need to steal something, right? Here goes. (Personal Interpretations after the =>.)

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Out On The Tiles - Led Zeppelin => Let's fight.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITy?
Sing - The Dresden Dolls => I love to sing...in private; or when drunk.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Army of Bono - Clutch => Ladies who love U2???? This one went awry.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Pearl - Bjork => Dull and round.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Dirty Mef (Feat. O.D.B.) - Method Man => Living in a trailer, mixing chemicals.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
North American Scum - LCD Soundsystem => Proud to be NA scum, travelling the globe.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Run (Feat. Jadakiss) - Ghostface Killa => Run away, trouble awaits-friend's voice.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Pretend The World - She Wants Revenge => Fakeness, wasting time.

WHAT IS 2+2?
21st Century - Red Hot Chili Peppers => 21st century kids may not know the answer.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Double Trouble (Feat. The Roots) - Mos Def => Double shots are always trouble.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Dialogue 3: Going Shopping - Global Access, Spanish 09 => Who is that? Foreign?
Song Wise= Soul Power-Black Jungle (Feat. Flavor Flav) - Wu Tang Clan=> Yep, foreign.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Travelin Man (DJ Honda Remix) - Mos Def => Now, this song is appropriate.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Trailer Trash - Modest Mouse => Trailer Trash living in a downtown loft.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Half A World Away - Esthero => Unfortunately, this song is appropriate as well.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Heaven - UGK => I wish I knew what they thought. Mums the word, though.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Satisfy - Jerry Cantrell => Can't remember what it was the first time...this works.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Incubation - Joy Division => I have another one picked out, but the polls don't lie

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
93 Million Miles - 30 Seconds To Mars => Or at least 9.3 million in travel.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Vices And Virtues - Dropkick Murphys => Wow...this is CRAZY correct.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I'm Sorry - Flyleaf (I know, forgive me) => Funny but flakey.

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Since I've Been Loving You - Led Zeppelin => Hmmm, you could turn to the Dark Side?

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Zeros And Ones (Aphex Twin Reconstruction) - Jesus Jones => Computer kills me.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Come To Me - Bjork => Acting at a time where I did not have enough time.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
This Ain't A Surfin' Movie - Minus The Bear => My sense of humor...clinical answer.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Stay True - Ghostface Killa => My mom....but not for a long time.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Bad Dream - Tricky => Continuous solitude.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Chi Kung - RZA => Probably not, romantically. But the other bases are covered.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Pendulous Threads - Incubus => I would have knocked my dad out, no concern.

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Naughty Girls (Need Love Too) - Samantha Fox (It's from Clerks 2, okay?)=>Oh yeah!!!!

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Forkboy (Lard) - Black Light Burns => Wu Symphony was a close second.



Now, do the same for your life. I used my 80GB IPod w/ 8,628 songs...which made for a very eclectic mix of answers. Stay true. Write down what comes out, regardless of what it is. I added my take to my answers, but you can leave that out...if you are SCARED!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Helpin' a brotha out....


The following is a joke, told to me in English, from a drunk Norwegian.

Enjoy.

A man and his wife are having a baby. When the husband is told that his wife has gone into labor, he rushes to the hospital and is greeted by the doctor in the waiting room.

"Where is my baby? Where is my baby?", asked the husband.

"I will take you to your baby, but first I must warn you. There is a problem with your baby.", said the doctor.

"What is wrong with my baby?"

"Yes, I will show you your baby."

The two men walk to the nursery, and there they see a line of bassinets.

The first baby they see, is missing an arm.

"Oh no! Oh my God, my baby! My baby!", screamed the new father.

"No no, I am afraid this is not your baby. Your baby is much worse."

The second baby is missing both arms.

"Oh my God! My baby!"

"No no, I am afraid your baby is much worse."

The third baby is missing both arms, and both legs.

"Oh my God, what is wrong with me?! My poor baby!"

No no, I am afraid your baby is much worse.

The last baby, is just a shiny eyeball, looking straight up from the blanket that is swaddled around it.

"Oh my God! My poor, poor baby!", the father wailed. But then, he begins to feel the natural, fatherly instinct that all fathers feel, the feeling of fatherly pride. He looks on the bright side. "Well, at least my baby can see me, and know that I am it's father."

The doctor looks at the man and replies, "No no, that is the problem. Your baby is blind."

At the time that this joke was told to me, it was after midnight in a country that I had never been to, and I could not speak it's native language. Sitting at the party, outside on the deck, I was pretty much on my own, as everyone else was Norwegian, and therefore speaking Norwegian. So, as the title of the blog suggests, one of the party's guests helped a brotha out, by speaking in English. And I laughed hysterically.

Cheers for that.